Marriage, Dating and Our Life

How to make a great first impression

First impressions matter. Love at first sight may be a myth, but those first few moments are vital when you’re out to impress. People can’t help but form an immediate opinion of you based on your appearance, your body language and the way you’re dressed, and this opinion helps to determine whether they hang around long enough to get to know you better.

Some first impressions matter more than others, particularly when you’re meeting men. One recent survey for a women’s magazine found that three-quarters of men notice a woman’s hair first, wheras only a handful of men mentioned clothes. That’s something to bear in mind next time you’re wondering whether to spend 50 quid on a haircut or a dress.

Read on to find out which five things men see first when they first see you, and how this can help you in the dating game.

1. Your hair

Hair takes the top spot for a number of reasons. First, it’s easy to spot. You may have a bottom to make Pippa Middleton weep with envy, but it’s unlikely to be the thing men notice first about you unless you’re holding a wedding dress train outside Westminster Abbey.

Men don’t just glance at a swooshy, shiny mane of hair and then move onto your other assets. They glance at it, and then keep on glancing. Long hair in good condition is extremely sexy, as is short hair with a sleek or fashionable cut. It’s a potent symbol of femininity that screams out to be touched. It also shows that you look after yourself and take pride in your appearance – qualities that many men rate very highly indeed. That said, you don’t want to look high-maintenance, so don’t overdo the products or extreme styling. Just keep your hair clean and conditioned, and invest in a good cut that suits your hair and your features.

Don’t feel pressured to cut your hair just because you’re getting older, or because Emma Watson cut hers. Only an exceptionally elfin face can carry off a drastic buzz cut. Most of us benefit from a glossy frame of hair, and the right haircut can work magic on balancing your facial features.

2. Your eyes

If your hair is your face’s frame, your eyes are its windows. Grown men can be hypnotised by a swoosh of beautiful hair followed by knockout eye contact. Eyes are so powerful because they are about direct communication, and eye contact enables you to make an instant connection with a stranger.

Psychologist Arthur Arun tested the power of eye contact by dividing pairs of strangers into two groups. One group of pairs engaged in intense conversation, while the other pairs stared silently into each other’s eyes for four minutes. Each time he did this test, the eye-contact couples reported feeling much more connected than the intimate-chat couple. One eye-contact couple even got married. So much for the power of conversation!

Make the most of your eyes by getting used to making and maintaining eye contact. It can be difficult if you’re the shy type, but its results can be extremely powerful. Also learn a few tricks of the make-up trade. Good make-up and well-shaped brows can make your eyes extraordinary, but too much can have the opposite effect.

3. Your shoes

Hair, eyes… shouldn’t smile come next? Not according to the men we spoke to. When asked what they noticed first, men were surprisingly keen to mention the importance of stylish shoes. Particularly, and predictably, high heels.

High heels will catch a man’s eye because they give you a sexy edge and improve your posture and the shape of your legs, but only if you can walk in them properly. Uncomfortable heels, like too much eye make-up, do more harm than good. There’s some reassurance for those of us who can’t or won’t wear heels: cool pumps, boots and on-trend trainers also go down well with men. Falling-apart old trainers or mis-shapen ugg boots, not so much. The key here is to wear stylish, quality shoes that co-ordinate with your outfit, and which you can walk in without wincing or lurching.

4. Your Smile

Smile at him, and that’s when he really sees your face. He won’t notice the slight crookedness of your teeth, or the chapped bit on your lip, or the spot that appeared this morning, or even if you’ve got a bit of food stuck in between your incisors – he’ll notice the sincerity and friendliness of your smile.

Meet his eye when you do it and he’ll find it impossible not to smile back – and that’s about the best first impression you can make.

5. Your body

Men notice a woman’s body. They can’t help it. That’s not to say that men judge you on your body shape as soon as you walk into the room, just that they can’t help but look at it. And chances are they’ll notice within seconds whether you’re comfortable with your body, so be sure to dress in a way that shows off your best assets, but leaves a little something to the imagination.

If you worry about the size of your tummy, thighs, arms and so on, don’t despair. Every woman has something about themselves that they’d like to change, but the good news is that most men won’t notice the bits that you do – they’re just happy at the prospect of seeing you naked. Embrace your femininity and go out with confidence, safe in the knowledge that your body will do at least some of the talking for you.

Isn’t it lovely to see a couple expressing affection for each other? Well… up to a point. There’s a whole ocean of dignity between holding hands in the street and swapping saliva in public.

When you are in a loving relationship, whilst it can be hard to keep your hands off your significant other, it can also be very hard for anyone unlucky enough to be watching. PDAs (public displays of affection, as opposed to personal digital assistants… remember them?) are never much fun unless you’re taking part in them, and even then it’s often a lot more pleasurable for one half of the PDAing couple than for the other.

We’re not suggesting that no-one should show affection in public. Public affection is important in a relationship. It shows your partner that you fancy them and that you’re proud to be with them, and that’s a vital part of making them feel appreciated. Any onlooker would have to be pretty small-minded to object to couples holding hands, snuggling up or giving each other a peck on the cheek. But go much further than that, and you can start to make people feel very uncomfortable indeed.

Here are five PDA blunders that make us want to scream “get a room”… or just make us want to scream.

1. Kissing with tongues

You look horrible when you snog. Sorry, but you do. Everyone does, except for teenage movie stars, and even they look prettier with their mouths shut and their faces unattached.

Public snogging isn’t just ugly, it’s also undignified and can be counter-productive. You may wish to tell the world “look how loved up we are,” but the world hears “look how desperate we are to show you that we fancy each other.”

It also conveys a sense of immaturity. Most people get public snogging out of their systems at school discos. When you see two adults doing it, you can’t help but wonder if they’ve ever actually had sex. It’s a grim and deeply unsexy spectacle.

2. Mismatched PDA

Everyone has a different threshold for modesty. If you want to snog your partner or hold their hand but they’d rather not, don’t impose your wishes on them. Slobbering over a reluctant man or woman is a very good way to turn them off.

If your partner is less keen on PDA than you are, it’s not necessarily a reflection of their feelings for you – it probably has a lot more to do with shyness. If you try to kiss them in public and they flinch or start to pull away, that should be more than enough of a signal for you to stop. Be sensitive to their PDA tolerance and don’t disrespect their wishes.

3. Friend-unfriendly PDA

You can be romantic with your partner in front of friends, right? Well, no. It’s rude, for a number of reasons. If you and your partner are out with friends, you should be giving your friends your attention, not each other. You can give each other all the attention you like when you get home later.

And what about friends who aren’t happy in their relationships, or single friends who’d rather not be single? The last thing they want to see is you two cooing over each other. Even the happiest of your friends won’t be too delighted to play gooseberry if they’re alone with you and you start groping each other.

4. Premature PDA

Many new lovers engage in public displays of affection as a way of “marking territory”. It’s hardly surprising, given the tidal waves of lust and excitement that wash over you when you start falling for someone. But be warned, premature pawing is not a way to keep someone interested. It’s just as likely to scare them off.

5. PDA in the workplace

Meeting a new partner online is now one of the top three ways to start a relationship, but if you’re someone who’s met their partner at work, the temptation to engage in a spot of on-the-clock PDA must be strong. It’s a temptation to be resisted at all costs.

Any kind of cutesy contact in the workplace could earn you disrespect, jealousy or even the sack. Don’t even think about swapping saucy emails. It’s also wise to keep your PDA to a respectable minimum during after-work drinks with colleagues. They’ll have a lot more respect for you as a couple if all your PDAs are strictly private displays of affection, well away from the office.

There’s been a complete uproar today because TV woman Caroline Flack is rumoured to be dating pop foetus Harry Styles. She’s 32, he’s 17.

Flack is being labelled a ‘cradle snatcher’, which raises the question: how young is too young for a woman to date?
[Relevant: Shoulder older men date much younger women]
Of course, this is barely an issue when the genders are reversed. No one bats an eyelid when a famous older man cavorts with 17-year-old girl (unless you’re the Prime Minister in a place like Italy, where the age of consent is 18 rather than 16).
It’s long been established that older guys like younger girls and vice versa. If Harry and Caroline are of the opposite persuasion, I can’t see why anyone in their right mind would care.
Except, I do care.
Speaking as a man whose teenage years are a distant memory, I’m concerned at the precedent this sets.
For chaps, the saving grace of getting older is that you can still pull girls younger than you. This is because girls don’t like dating dudes who are younger.
I’ve never quite understood why this is. Twenty-year-old lads are generally healthier and prettier than 30-year-old men, with better hair and higher libidos. Women can cite their “immaturity” and “lack of experience” as reasons to steer clear, but actually I think it’s more to do with the weird social stigma attached to it. Guys who date younger girls get kudos for it, while a woman dating a young lad is deemed somehow misguided and pathetic.
And for men in their late twenties and older, this is great news. Our maturity is the one thing we have in our locker – a safety net for ageing bachelors. Otherwise, we’d be like women – when no one wants you when you’re old. Imagine!
But if this alleged Flack-Styles courtship is successful, the repercussions are frightening. Presumably they are quite high profile so they could become a popular, fashionable couple (I say presumably, I’d never heard of Harry until this morning but am assured he is well-known.) If it suddenly becomes acceptable for a 29-year-old woman to snog an under-25, guys like me would be sunk.

It’s hard enough as it is finding a woman without teenagers becoming serious contenders for the same girls. It’s like Roger Federer against Novak Djokovic – the young pretender might end up being better than you.
So for my sake, although I think love between any aged couple is a beautiful thing, I want Caroline and Harry’s romance to fail horribly.
She needs to dump him, then give an interview a few months confirming all the suspicions of older women: that Harry wanted them to spend all their spare time playing with Lego.
We don’t want women getting the wrong idea – that young dudes are just as good as old ones.

Written by: By Dan Juan
Source: http://uk.lifestyle.yahoo.com/blogs/dan-juan/learning-caroline-flack-older-woman-date-younger-men-123933308.html

When looking for a date there are many qualities that are considered. It could be careers and hobbies, but many are seeking to date within their religion.

Religion dating is possible. Just as with finding any date or mate you date where you will find those with similar interests. If you are interested in skydiving or exercise you do these things because you will meet people with the same interests. When you are serious about finding someone special with a certain religion then you need to be involved with others with that religion.

Sure the first thing that comes to mind is attending church. This is the main way to meet others in your religion. It is a time when you are there and interacting socially as well as spiritually. This is helpful since you are a regular church-goer, but their needs to be other singles there or it is not going to be the best way to meet a date. There are also other times that these groups get-together and if church members invite single friends it could be helpful to you. Friends, family and church members could also introduce you to someone that not only meets your religion requirement, but other interests you have as well.

Some consider religion dating by visiting religious events at other churches of the same religion. Visiting these churches during services is another option. When going to large congregations they sometimes have a large single base. That means there might be singles groups. They will get together and visit for special activities. This could also include Bible studies that meet once a week or monthly. It might be possible to attend one of these as well. You could learn about these groups when visiting services or even call the church and asking if there are any special groups you could attend. These groups are a good way to get to know others. Your local church groups and activities might be a safe way of making friends and knowing more about the people.

There are also other events that are conducted focusing on religion. Examples are conferences, retreats, camps and workshops that can be attended. Often churches invite other congregations when they are having events. You could call area churches to find out about anything that is happening and get the details so you can attend. It is even possible to set up your own event at your church and invite area churches to attend. It is a way to organize a fun church related event to bring others together.

But if you are looking to meet people of different religions and nationalities, you can look towards online dating websites. Numerous people with secular mindset look forward to dating others with a different new culture and thus, dating can become more interesting. You learn more about his or her ways of life and beliefs. For some religion is the only way of life for others, it is more about sharing and learning about your religions and the other religions.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6303384

Committed couples should be able to tell each other everything, right? No more walking on eggshells like nervous first daters, terrified that they’ll accidentally mention the ex and wreck their chance of a second date. For long-term partners, there’s no such things as too much information. Actually, there is. Honesty is a vital ingredient in any relationship, but so is thoughtfulness. Couples should never stop taking care over what they say to each other. Words can hurt, and careless talk can drive the closest couples apart. We don’t advocate lying to each other – and neither do we recommend blurting out every truth that pops into your head. Here are five truths that are best kept to yourself if you want your relationship to prosper.

1. You find her friend attractive

It doesn’t matter that you’ve never made any romantic overtures to the luminous friend. That’s not the point. What matters here is that it hurts your partner’s feelings enormously if you compare her unfavourably with a woman she’s close to. Your little confession could drive a wedge between her and the friend in question, but only temporarily – the relationship that your confession is most likely to destroy is her relationship with you. If you find yourself becoming attracted to one of your partner’s friends, keep the crush to yourself if you want your relationship to survive. It’s perfectly normal for people to have crushes. Fantasise quietly if you must, but don’t spill the beans. Utter the wrong name in the height of passion, and you may have some explaining to do.

2. She should wear more make-up

Encouraging your partner to wear more make-up is tantamount to telling her that she’s ugly. Make-up is essentially a mask, and it can feel like hard work, so the last thing she wants to hear is that you’d rather she trowelled on even more of the stuff. It’s good to show an interest in your partner’s appearance. For example, help her choose outfits if she asks. Women don’t like it when men find the whole getting-ready thing tiresome – we are doing it to look good for you, after all. However, don’t take such an interest that you seem to be trying to turn her into someone she’s not. It’s a lucky man whose wife or girlfriend is comfortable with her appearance, so don’t mess it up by sowing the seeds of insecurity. You are not Gok Wan.

3. You once considered leaving her

Successful relationships are built on a trusting assumption that you love each other. This trust creates a secure bubble in which your relationship can thrive. Admit that you once considered breaking up, and you burst the bubble. Your wife or girlfriend will always wonder whether you’re truly happy.

4. Anything about your sex life with previous partners

You might think that you and your partner are happy and secure enough together to have the occasional laugh about what you did with someone you dated years ago. Not the case. Sex is a subject mined with doubts and insecurities, and your partner’s insecurities will burst into life as soon as you mention anything you did with a previous girlfriend. What’s more, it is deeply unsexy. Sex is about intimacy and privacy – it’s the ultimate communication between the two of you and no-one else. As soon as you break that contract by bringing someone else into the conversation, the intimacy is broken. In fact, all ex-talk should be as limited as possible. This may be tricky if you’re forced into practical interactions with them over divorce or child support, but try not to let emotion enter into it. Praising or criticising your ex is bad news for your current relationship.

5. She interrupts too much

Men often complain that women talk too much, but here’s the thing: women talk because they’re interested and engaged. She’s enjoying your company. Some experts suggest that women interrrupt each other in conversation more than men do, but this isn’t because they aren’t listening – it’s simply a way of being engaged in the conversation. If you criticise her for this, you’re essentially telling her off for talking to you. Welcome the fact that your partner is animated and chatty, and that you haven’t turned into one of those couples who sit silently pushing food around their plates.

Source: u.match.yahoo.net

fter reading the news that Saudi morality police — acting as “God’s agents” on earth to prevent sin — beat up a woman and a man accompanying her on suspicion of dating. I asked myself this question: what right do these “keepers-of-faith” have to rigorously impose Islamic morals on other people? The woman and man turned out to be relatives.

When the members of Haia realised their folly, they tried to hush up the Yanbu woman, who was accompanying her uncle for work in Medina, by paying for their hotel stay, SR500 in cash, and mint leaves, with hopes that she would not lodge an official complaint.

The image of God’s men exerting force on women and being afraid of an earthly complaint is all a bit odd when thinking of the Prophetic character. Do they really think they’re furthering God’s wishes on earth? If so, why does their lack of tact so contradict the manner of the last prophet who, through kindness, won the hearts of the rigid Meccans?

To answer my initial question, it is important to ponder upon what constitutes faith. Being a practicing Muslim man, who has experienced Muslim life in the United States, London, Jordan, Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Morocco and Pakistan, I’m often driven to despair by the emphasis on outward appearance as opposed to one’s manners, morals and ethics.

“Why do you not keep a beard?,” I am often asked, whether I am at the Regents Park Mosque, in London, or the mosque on 96th Street and Lexington Avenue, in New York City. Some have more forcefully tried to convince me that it’s feminine to have a clean shave. “If you keep a beard, my heart will automatically draw toward you because you’ll be fulfilling a sunnah,” said a man, who hardly knew me, at the Columbia University prayer room that I frequented during my undergrad and graduate-school days. But it surprised me that the gentleman never bothered to actually get to know me; if he did, he would have found a man eager to lead an ethical and moral life and someone who was working toward bettering himself spiritually.

Over the years, I have taken heat from many Muslims for using prayer beads because it’s a “despicable innovation in Islam,” for getting a western-style haircut because “the prophet either kept long hair or shaved his head” (mind you, there were no scissors then), for wearing black because “it’s a color for women and men are supposed to wear white,” and for my interest in Sufism because “all those Sufis had gone astray” from the right path and some of them were “heretics.”

This is only a fraction of the list of things that others commanded that I address in order to be granted a place in heaven, in addition to finding myself an honorable wife who would keep me away from the “lure of women.”

If the true measure of faith for men is a four-finger beard and for women is to wear hijab miserly, covering every lock of their hair, then what about the prophet’s teaching: “The most excellent jihad is that for the conquest of self.”

Surely, Islam talks about modesty, but what is it? “Modesty is ultimately an awareness of both our sensual energy (our marvelous capacity for mischief) — and whence, also an awareness of our capacity for restraint (our awareness of limitations),” Abdallah Adhami, a prominent Muslim scholar explained. “Modesty in this sense is, therefore, inextricably linked to humility.”

So, what is humility? “Like modesty, humility begins in the heart, and inwardly, it is the most radiant manifestation of inner calm; outwardly, again like modestly, humility exudes dignity, poise and restraint,” the scholar noted.

Ah! So it starts from within.

I can dress modestly, but what good is it if I don’t restrain my glance when a woman passes by. What if I am only pretending not to look? I often hear that an unintentional glimpse of the opposite sex is forgiven, but I’ve seen glimpses that last for 60 seconds, jokes apart.

Forbidding the wrong and commanding the good with use of force will never generate the effect that inward stirrings of the faith would. One can force the other to read a religious text but it is unlikely that the person will drink deeply from the fountain of divine wisdom. The requisite factor for modesty, humility and piety is the intention and the will to change and progress.

Counseling is effective when the other is seeking counsel. With force you can create a social deviant, but not steer somebody toward religion. In response to a question on the mannerism of good counsel, Faraz Rabbani, a leading scholar of Islam, wrote: “Our age is an age where the Prophetic mercy, gentleness, gradualness, and wisdom need to predominate and condition any “promotion” of both virtue and law.”

The only plausible reason for the morality police — may they be government funded or otherwise — to intimidate devotees to follow their commands is that it takes less effort to tell other people to do something than it takes to do something yourself. There is a psychological benefit in the knowledge that they are fulfilling God’s wishes by preventing sin. And there is also an element of pride in being God’s agent.

It is easier to counsel others to keep a beard and to dress modestly than to counsel others on how to be a better human being. All you have to do is to pontificate for a few minutes, scare the other person with talk of hellfire or just beat them up — after all, you’re only ensuring that they’re making headway to heaven (pun intended) — and you can feel the instant gratification from demonstrable change.

Conversely, for real change, one would have to take the pains to mold the other person in a way that would enable them to start thinking for themselves which, in affect, brings an inward change.

If you ask me, until you’re squared away on the bigger issues — manners, morals and ethics — don’t go out picking on the minor shortcomings of other people. We’re all works in progress. Live by example and inspire others to improve themselves.

Fahad Faruqui is a journalist, writer, and educator. Alumni Columbia University. You can email him at fahad@caa.columbia.edu or connect with him on Twitter here.
Source: www.dawn.com.pk October 23, 2011
The views expressed by this blogger and in the following reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of the Dawn Media Group.

Saudi Arabia’s King Abdullah has overturned a court ruling sentencing a woman to ten lashes for breaking a ban on female drivers, the wife of billionaire Prince Alwaleed bin Talal has said.
The pardon, which has not yet been confirmed by Saudi authorities, was revealed on Twitter by Princess Ameerah Al Taweel, an outspoken supporter of women’s rights in the kingdom.
“Thank God, the lashing of Shaima is cancelled. Thanks to our beloved King. I’m sure all Saudi women will be so happy, I know I am,” the princess wrote on her Twitter page on Wednesday.
“Yes, it is official, Prince Alwaleed just confirmed it to me,” she added two hours later.

A Saudi court on Tuesday sentenced Shaima Justaneyah to ten lashes for challenging the kingdom’s strict ban on women driving. The ruling is believed to be the first of its kind in the conservative Gulf state that has not involved a violation of Islamic law.

The sentence followed two days after King Abdullah granted women the right to vote and run in municipal elections. He also promised to include them in the next all-appointed consultative Shura Council in 2013.
Saudi Arabia, holder of the world’s biggest oil reserves, has avoided the anti-government demonstrations that have rocked the Arab world this year.
In May, Saudi woman used the Facebook and Twitter social-networking websites to call for females with international driver’s licenses to use their cars June 17. They said their plan wasn’t a protest.
Manal Al Sharif was held for ten days and faced charges of “besmirching the kingdom’s reputation abroad and stirring up public opinion,” after she posted a YouTube video of herself driving. The video attracted more than 500,000 viewers before it was pulled from the website.
Princess Ameerah is a staunch advocate of overturning Saudi’s ban on female drivers. Speaking on the US Today Show in June she said allowing women to drive is one in a list of reforms that must be addressed in Saudi Arabia.
“We’re fighting for our rights and we are getting them. If we were not getting them, you would not see me talking to you now,” she said.
Asked if she wants to be the first woman to drive legally in the kingdom, Princess Ameerah said “Yes. [But] for me, I don’t care if I am the first or the 60th, as long as we drive. It’s a social need but looking at the other side, there are priorities for us women here in Saudi other than driving. We care about laws for women, women in the workforce – basic rights.”

A news from ABIDJAN, Ivory Coast where United Nations peacekeepers in Ivory Coast enticed underage girls in a poor part of the West African nation to exchange sex for food, according to a United States Embassy cable released by WikiLeaks.
The cable written in January 2010 focuses on the behavior of Beninese peacekeepers stationed in the western town of Toulepleu, an area that has been at the crosshairs of the nation’s 10-year-long conflict.

A random poll of 10 underage girls in Toulepleu by aid group Save The Children U.K. in 2009 found that eight performed sexual acts for Benin peacekeepers on a regular basis in order to secure their most basic needs. “Eight of the 10 said they had ongoing sexual relationships with Beninese soldiers in exchange for food or lodging,” the diplomat wrote in the cable, citing information shared with the embassy by a protection officer.

On Tuesday, United Nations spokesman Michel Bonnardeaux confirmed that in April, 16 Beninese peacekeepers were repatriated to Benin and are barred from serving in the U.N. following a yearlong investigation.

“We see it as a command and control problem,” said Bonnardeaux who spoke by telephone from New York. Of the 16, 10 were commanders and the rest were soldiers.

The commanders, he said, “failed to maintain an environment that prevents sexual exploitation and abuse.”

Sexual misconduct by U.N. troops has been reported in a number of countries including Congo, Cambodia and Haiti—as well as in an earlier incident involving Moroccan peacekeepers in Ivory Coast.

In 2007, a 730-strong battalion of peacekeepers from Morocco was asked to suspend its activities in the northern Ivorian city of Bouake after the U.N. received allegations of sexual misconduct involving local girls.

A report published a year later by Save the Children U.K. identified Ivory Coast as one of the places where sexual barter between peacekeepers and girls was occurring. The peacekeepers traded food as well as mobile phones for sex, the report said.

The recently released cable identifies for the first time the Benin peacekeeping contingent.

It also makes clear that the sexual exploitation continued through at least the last month of 2009, quoting a protection officer with Save the Children who spoke to the embassy in January 2010. The officer said that the “sexual exploitation and abuse problem among (United Nations) personnel is more extensive than is recognized.”

Parents were encouraging their daughters to sleep with the peacekeepers so they would provide for them, according to the cable.

Bonnardeaux said that 42 allegations of sexual abuse by U.N. staff in Ivory Coast have been reported since 2007. Sixteen involved minors. None have been reported yet this year, according to U.N. records.

source: www.denverpost.com

There are some male qualities that women the world over agree are super-hot – and we’re not just talking about washboard abs…

1. His scent
Ever wondered why you like to snuggle in the nook of his armpit so much? Well here’s the (slightly gross) answer. According to research conducted by Monell Chemical Senses Centre in Philadelphia, Women are attracted to the smell of a man’s armpit sweat because underarm sweat contains a complex compound of odourless pheromones that subconsciously affect us. Charles Wysocki, a behavioural neuroscientist at the Centre explains, “Women are more attuned to underarm stink because the biological data it contains helps them choose a mate. Most women are even better at smelling male body odour than female body odours.” Nice!

2. His body language
Whether it’s the way he carries himself, the manner in which he casually brushes his hand through is hair, or just the way he walks, us women are pre-programmed to notice. According to Linda Blair, clinical psychologist and author of Straight Talking “It takes only seven seconds for us to judge another person when we first meet them,” To us, a man who walks tall and is comfortable in his own skin translates as a man who is self-confident – and that’s a hugely attractive trait. Judi James, author of The Body Language Bible, explains “Judging other people in the first few seconds of meeting them is part of our survival response. We’re looking primarily to see if we should feel threatened, but we also make several assumptions about attraction and personality.”

3. His shape
While we’re not necessarily looking for a muscle-bound hunk, there’s something primal about our attraction to his physical form. Whether he’s gym honed or not, if he looks fit and as though he looks after himself, this lets us know that health and well-being are among his priorities – and that’s a massive turn on. Especially when we’ve got mating on our minds. In general, most women are also predisposed to liking someone who is physically bigger than they are with broader shoulders and taller in height. This is probably residual hardwiring from our days as cavewomen when we looked to men as protectors and hunter-gatherers.

4. His sense of humour
A recent study by Northumbria University showed that women use humour as an indication of a guy’s intelligence which goes some way to explaining the enormous popularity of “GSOH” as a dating requirement for so many women’s dating profiles. “Intelligence is a very attractive quality as a clever man should be more able to provide resources for his offspring.” Explains Kristofor McCarty who led the study. But gentlemen be warned, while we like a man who can make us laugh, a cruel wit that makes jokes at the expense of others or denigrates and puts us down is not something we find attractive.

5. His ambitious streak
We’re attracted to men with a drive to succeed for many reasons. Firstly it shows he’s passionate about something and while it may not be you (yet), it’s a sign that he’s capable of commitment. A strong work ethic demonstrates a sense of responsibility – another positive indication for selecting a life partner. Ambition also reveals a healthy sense of get-up-and go. It shows that he’s not content just hanging out with his mates down the pub and that he aspires towards something more – the desire to make things happen and improve his life. There isn’t a woman alive who doesn’t find that attractive.

India’s 2011 census shows a serious decline in the number of girls under the age of seven – activists fear eight million female foetuses may have been aborted in the past decade. The BBC’s Geeta Pandey in Delhi explores what has led to this crisis.

Kulwant has three daughters aged 24, 23 and 20 and a son who is 16. In the years between the birth of her third daughter and her son, Kulwant became pregnant three times.

My mother-in-law said if I had a daughter, my husband would leave me. Thankfully, I had a son.”
Each time, she says, she was forced to abort the foetus by her family after ultrasound tests confirmed that they were girls.

“My mother-in-law taunted me for giving birth to girls. She said her son would divorce me if I didn’t bear a son.”

Kulwant still has vivid memories of the first abortion. “The baby was nearly five months old. She was beautiful. I miss her, and the others we killed,” she says, breaking down, wiping away her tears.

Until her son was born, Kulwant’s daily life consisted of beatings and abuse from her husband, mother-in-law and brother-in-law. Once, she says, they even attempted to set her on fire.

“They were angry. They didn’t want girls in the family. They wanted boys so they could get fat dowries,” she says.
India outlawed dowries in 1961, but the practice remains rampant and the value of dowries is constantly growing, affecting rich and poor alike.
Kulwant’s husband died three years after the birth of their son. “It was the curse of the daughters we killed. That’s why he died so young,” she says.

Girl Power
How girls are valued varies widely across India. Over the years, most states in the south and north-east have been kind to their girls, and sex ratios are above the national average.
In the matrilineal societies of Kerala and Karnataka in the south and Meghalaya in the north-east, women have enjoyed high status and commanded respect. But the latest census figures show the good news even in these areas could be turning bad. A minor decline in the number of girls has begun in the three states which, campaigners worry, might be indicative of a trend.
What is seen as most distressing is the steep decline in the number of girls under seven in the southern state of Andhra Pradesh and in Sikkim, Nagaland, Manipur and Tripura in the north-east. Even though these states have registered numbers much higher than the national average, the decline is too substantial to ignore.

But all is not lost. Some states, such as Punjab, Haryana and Himachal Pradesh – which saw the gap between numbers of boys and girls widen in 2001 – have shown an improvement. That is cause for some cheer, campaigners say.
Although the number of women overall is improving (due to factors such as life expectancy), India’s ratio of young girls to boys is one of the worst in the world after China.
Many factors come into play to explain this: infanticide, abuse and neglect of girl children.
But campaigners say the decline is largely due to the increased availability of antenatal sex screening, and they talk of a genocide.The government has been forced to admit that its strategy has failed to put an end to female foeticide.

‘National shame’
“Whatever measures have been put in over the past 40 years have not had any impact on the child sex ratio,” Home Secretary GK Pillai said when the census report was released.
Prime Minister Manmohan Singh described female foeticide and infanticide as a “national shame” and called for a “crusade” to save girl babies.
But Sabu George, India’s best-known campaigner on the issue, says the government has so far shown little determination to stop the practices.

Until 30 years ago, he says, India’s sex ratio was “reasonable”. Then in 1974, Delhi’s prestigious All India Institute of Medical Sciences came out with a study which said sex-determination tests were a boon for Indian women.
It said they no longer needed to produce endless children to have the right number of sons, and it encouraged the determination and elimination of female foetuses as an effective tool of population control.
“By late 80s, every newspaper in Delhi was advertising for ultrasound sex determination,” said Mr George.
“Clinics from Punjab were boasting that they had 10 years’ experience in eliminating girl children and inviting parents to come to them.”

In 1994, the Pre-Natal Determination Test (PNDT) Act outlawed sex-selective abortion. In 2004, it was amended to include gender selection even at the pre-conception stage.
Abortion is generally legal up to 12 weeks’ gestation. Sex can be determined by a scan from about 14 weeks.

“What is needed is a strict implementation of the law,” says Varsha Joshi, director of census operations for Delhi. “I find there’s absolutely no will on the part of the government to stop this.”
Today, there are 40,000 registered ultrasound clinics in the country, and many more exist without any record.

‘Really sad’
Ms Joshi, a former district commissioner of south-west Delhi, says there are dozens of ultrasound clinics in the area. It has the worst child sex ratio in the capital – 836 girls under seven for every 1,000 boys.

Something’s really wrong here and something has to be done to put things right”. Delhi’s overall ratio is not much better at 866 girls under seven for every 1,000 boys.

“It’s really sad. We are the capital of the country and we have such a poor ratio,” Ms Joshi says.

The south-west district shares its boundary with Punjab and Haryana, the two Indian states with the worst sex ratios. Since the last census, Punjab and Haryana have shown a slight improvement. But Delhi has registered a decline.

“Something’s really wrong here and something has to be done to put things right,” Ms Joshi says.Almost all the ultrasound clinics in the area have the mandatory board outside, proclaiming that they do not carry out illegal sex-determination tests. But the women in Sagarpur say most people here know where to go when they need an ultrasound or an abortion.

They say anyone who wants to get a foetal ultrasound done, gets it done. In the five-star clinics of south Delhi it costs 10,000-plus rupees ($222; £135), In the remote peripheral areas of Delhi’s border, it costs a few hundred rupees.

Similarly, the costs vary for those wanting an illegal abortion.

Delhi is not alone in its anti-girl bias. Sex ratios have declined in 17 states in the past decade, with the biggest falls registered in Jammu and Kashmir.

Ms Joshi says most offenders are members of the growing middle-class and affluent Indians – they are aware that the technology exists and have the means to pay to find out the sex of their baby and abort if they choose.

“We have to take effective steps to control the promotion of sex determination by the medical community. And file cases against doctors who do it,” Mr George says.

Source: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-south-asia-13264301

I met this guy about 5 months ago and we agreed that we were both not ready for a relationship (him just getting out of a serious relationship and me not ready for one at all). So we began having casual sex, but that stopped when he got back together with his ex. Now that they have now broken up again, we have both admitted to having feelings for each other and have thought that there might be something else between us other than just casual sex.

Does the fact that we know each other so intimately hinder our ability to get to know each other better on a more relationship-oriented level? I know that I am interested in him, and I know he is interested in me. But I want to build what we have beyond a purely sexual relationship. Is that possible?

A: The short answer: Yes. The long answer: It depends on a variety of factors.

First off, it depends on how long it has been since both of you ended your last relationship as to whether or not what you’ve got now has a chance. Since it sounds like the gentleman in this equation is newly-single, that alone might be reason enough to hold off for a bit — both in having casual sex, and in trying for something more. Give the guy a bit of time to recover. Let him process what’s just happened properly, so he’s able to partner with you intentionally when the time comes.

Next, I’d want to know if the two of you have spent any time together outside of the bedroom. I’ll assume you have, or else neither of you would be wondering if a potential relationship was on the horizon. So with this in mind, I’d strongly suggest spending more of your time doing things together that are more ‘date’ activities, and leave the casual sex off to the side for now. Do you need to stop having sex? That’s up to you. But the danger here lies in reveling in your sexual chemistry and not really exploring who each other is outside of a casual sex relationship.

As well, the fact that the both of you weren’t ready for a relationship when you met, but now are because these ‘feelings’ have come up, is something to discuss more. What has changed since you met, other than time? Are you sure that both of you are ready for another relationship, independently of the fact that he’s just gotten out of one? Many casual sex relationships start because one or both partners aren’t able or willing to commit, yet long for physical intimacy without the emotional attachments. Although I realize its hard to determine whether or not the guy you’re interested in has commitment issues this early on, perhaps take a look at your own for now, to see whether or not this is a theme and how it might affect the two of you dating.

Finally, I’d want to know whether or not either of you would flinch when telling others how you met. Will you have to lie or edit the truth somewhat? Will the story be different for your friends, coworkers and family? Discuss this with your potential partner casually when you get the chance, and see what he has to say. If nothing else, it’ll spurn some great conversation, and you’ll get a better idea how the two of you will respond to conflict and challenges in your relationship.

All of this information isn’t meant to sour you on the idea of moving from casual sex into a full-blown relationship however. I’ve worked with countless couples whose relationships started with casual sex and moved into something more. It can happen, it does happen, and sometimes even with great success. The two of you are off to a great start having communicated your interest in one another. Keep on communicating openly, talk about where you’d like for things to go, and spend some time together outside of casual sex -like encounters. Soon enough you’ll both have enough information to determine if something more is really there.

http://dating.about.com/

Women have lots of different reasons for wanting to tie the knot. But why are men so keen to get hitched? We reveal why so many decide to put a ring on it.

Contrary to popular belief most men are not actually commitment-phobes who end up goaded into marriage by pushy partners keen to get a ring on their fingers. According to Match.com’s latest Lovegeist report – the largest independent study of the UK’s attitudes towards relationships – 88% of men are looking to get married in the future. That’s even more than the women – only 85% of whom said they were keen to tie the knot.

So what are their main motivations for popping the question?

It strengthens their bloodline
While being married is no longer a prerequisite for starting a family, the vast majority of men would prefer to start a family in as stable as possible an environment. Despite high divorce rates, marriage and the traditional values of the nuclear family are still the most secure and settled environment for rearing young children. Men understand and value this just as much as women.

It’s an investment
Aside from the financial advantages of being able to share major expenses such as buying a house, marriage is also a personal investment in the future. Most men will concede it’s worth sacrificing just a few of those single years of being foot loose and fancy free in exchange for a long-term investment in one person with whom they can build and share a potentially life long relationship.

Having someone to grow old with
Recent research contends that happily married men tend to outlive their single counterparts by quite some margin. In fact, the rate of mortality is 250% higher among single men than those who are married. It’s not clear whether the lower mortality rate is down to married men being better looked after by their families or is just to do with their level of contentment in general, but the idea of not having to grow old alone is persuasive factor for men who are thinking about settling down.

Stability
The presence of a supportive and caring partner on whom he can rely is both a comfort and a powerful draw for marriage. A stable home life allows a man to devote more of his energies to other areas of his life that he holds dear such as his work. And that plays an important role in making him feel validated as a person.

Emotional security
According to the Lovegeist report less than 2% of men look to marriage as a route to financial security showing that men, just like women are looking for emotional over financial security. A shared experience is more valuable to them than a shared bank account.

Contentment
Having someone to share life’s ups and downs with is also a crucial factor for men deciding to tie the knot. An Australian university study of three countries Britain, Australia and Germany revealed that married men are happier than their single counterparts. Married men having someone to share their emotions and life’s burdens with must surely play some part in their findings.

Match.coms relationships expert Kate Taylor makes the astute conclusion:
“Men want marriage and everything that goes with it for the same reasons women do – security, support, comfort and affection. What they don’t want is divorce, as they still typically suffer from it with more financial and emotional scars than females. Consequently, they are wary of marriage until they’re very sure they have found the right partner. But once they have, usually they will proceed to a proposal rapidly.”

Source: http://uk.match.yahoo.net

Whether you just want to establish if you’re ready to stop seeing other people and date exclusively, or you’re keen to confirm you’re both in agreement over the more momentous relationships goals like living together, marriage and having kids, knowing how and when to broach the topic of your future together can be a delicate business. Too early and you run the risk of putting-off your partner by being too pushy, conversely, coasting along for too long with no clear definition of where the relationship is headed is both risky and fool hardy. So, when is the right time to have ‘the talk’? And do you even need to have one at all?

Kate Taylor, relationships expert at Match.com advises against having any talks too early – ie within just a few weeks of starting to date. “You need to date non-exclusively for at least a month at the beginning to get to know each other in a light, easy manner, with no pressure to be anything but yourselves” Yes, this means no sex! But you’ll learn a lot about how compatible you are without falling into bed – more, probably, because passion won’t be clouding your judgement.

“After a month or so, ask your partner if they’re still dating others. If they’re not – and you’re not either – you can then easily talk about dating each other exclusively. If they are, I suggest you carry on dating others too. Don’t try to bring them closer to you by using sex to impress them or bond with them – it’ll make you too attached. Just carry on seeing them non-exclusively and if they haven’t asked you to be exclusive by the end of the second month, consider that they might not that interested in you.”

So if things are going well and seem to be progressing to the next level, how do you broach the topic of the future without sounding pushy and impatient?

“When you bring up the future, keep it low-key and casual. Not to play games, but because only by raising the subject in a light, non-threatening manner will you get a truthful answer,” says Kate.

“Don’t be keen to nail your new partner down to answer questions like,‘Where do you see this going?’ within the first few months. Why? Because really, you should be dating and judging to see if they’re good enough for you before questions like that even cross your mind! Be fussy – someone who wants the best for themselves. Look at how they treat you, not what they say.”

In fact, if the relationship is going well, there may be no need for you to have ‘the talk’ at all because there’s already an unspoken mutual understanding. Most of us are fairly good at judging when things just feel right. And instinct is a very powerful gauge of a relationship. As Kate wisely points out “The romantic sweet-nothings at the start of a relationship are wonderful, but mean very little. How they treat you – and how you treat them – are the only way you can really tell what the real agenda is.”

Source:http://uk.match.yahoo.net/

Today is a great lovely and royal wedding day in London, a big event when Prince William will be married with Kate Middleton, a wonderful and rememberable day for every man and woman when they are tied in a relationship religiously and culturally, expecting a public gathering of more than 1.5 million on the roads and parks. It is holiday in UK and most of the people in UK are watching wedding ceremony sitting in front of TV without any religous or cultural difference. It is my observation that 80% of UK population love royal family. The happiness of royal family is their happiness.

Every one is enjoying this wedding in its own way, drinking, dancing, cutting cakes, so many other ways,PRAYING for this happy couple. Hundred street parties are there all over the UK. Asians are enjoying by distributing sweets within their friends. Children at schools were told about the wedding and they held their own parties in honor of the couple. All over the world people are watching TV and enjoying the live coverage by the media. IT is very HAPPY day for all British people, where they are. Large screens have been installed all over the country in public places for people enjoyment. Some may have difference with the opinion and wedding ceremony, but it is wedding, a happy day for a couple, so pray for them and if you love Royal Family, enjoy it watching on TV if you are not invited or listening wedding songs (Urdu, Hindi) Our readers can link wedding songs in their own language.

What BBC say about this marriage, read it here.

“Prince William will be married in the famous red tunic of the Irish Guards today as senior royals don full military uniform for the occasion.

With a guest list of nearly 2,000 and a predicted worldwide audience of billions, the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton would seem to be anything but private, however much the couple themselves would like it to be. But as royalty – or soon-to-be royalty in Miss Middleton’s case – it is an unavoidable reality.

At first glance it appears to be an odd word to be using about an occasion which has attracted so much attention at home and around the world. But, apparently the watchword in Palace corridors these past few months, as officials have prepared for the day, has been “intimacy”.

How do you achieve that when Mr Wales from London and Anglesey will one day, as things stand, be this country’s king? The choice of church helps.

Westminster Abbey, despite its grandeur and history, shouldn’t feel too daunting when the couple are up at the High Altar and obscured from view by some in the congregation, who will have to rely on TV screens to watch the proceedings.

But, like many couples getting married, they haven’t had it all their own way. With the Windsors, as with other families, certain people come as a job lot. For the British monarchy, it’s the representatives of other monarchies – even if they’ve long since been “de-throned” in the lands where they were born and where they once reigned.

When William and Kate formalise their union before God and the watching world, they will be making a personal commitment to each other.

The hope will be that their relationship, unlike others in recent royal history, will survive and endure. They will also be renewing the ancient family Kate Middleton is about to enter.

The royals survive on being noticed. They would wither if ignored. So, marriages are important moments for them. They re-invigorate a centuries-old institution; they generate fresh interest in its activities; and they offer the promise of another generation to come to sustain the House of Windsor.

Despite remarkable changes in attitudes since the Queen was crowned, polls show a majority of the population still favour the status quo.

With the wedding nearly upon us, there are many questions about the future which remain unanswered: what sort of charitable work will Kate, adorned with a post-marriage title, take on?

How will the couple cope with the demand for them to be more visible as the octogenarian monarch inevitably slows down? And what are the risks of the fresh-faced couple overshadowing the man who will be the next king, Charles?

The answers will emerge in the coming months and years. For now, the unremitting focus of the royal households is on the wedding.

Like those of some of his relatives, Prince William’s marriage is taking place at a time of austerity. It won’t be too extravagant – but it will be full of pomp and solemnity. This after all, is the marriage of a couple who represent the future of the British monarchy.”

And at the end, HAPPY Marriage to William and Kate family and especially to Queen, grand mother of William.

Courtesy: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-13213881

It’s a sad but true fact that when the honeymoon period of a relationship fades (as it inevitably does) and couples settle into a comfortable and familiar routine with one another, damaging habits such as taking each other for granted, not spending quality time together and negativity can creep in and threaten to ruin a relationship.

We asked Kate Taylor, Match.com’s resident relationships expert for her top tips on how to nip these potentially destructive relationship behaviours in the bud.

Bad habit 1: Being negative
Kate says: “If you’re the one who’s being negative – moaning about work, feeling low, not looking forward to anything – the secret is not to burden your partner with all of it. Spread the load between your friends, family and – if you’re feeling depressed for some time – maybe your doctor too. Not only will others give you insights that your partner can’t, it will take some pressure off your other half and enable you to have more fun together.

If your partner is the negative one, listen as much as you feel you can then gently suggest they discuss the problem with someone else who might be better able to help. Don’t feel you have to play cheerleader – if you’re always listening to your partner’s problems, who’s listening to yours?”

Bad habit 2: Not spending quality time together
Kate says: “Staying-in together is a natural stage in a relationship, as it’s intimate, easy and fun. It’s also cheap! But it loses its appeal – not only do neither of you make as much of an effort to look good for At Home evenings, you’ll be interrupted by domestic duties too. Keep the glamour and fun of dating alive by scheduling dates out and about at least every two weeks. They don’t have to be expensive – picnics, walks, museums and galleries are all free, whilst a few drinks in a pub won’t break anyone’s bank. Look for discounts and offers for local restaurants online, or go to fancy places for lunch instead of dinner, it’s usually much cheaper.

If your partner is the stay-at-home type, challenge them to think of fun date ideas. Take it in turns to think of new things to do. The competitive nudge should get them off the sofa.”

Bad habit 3: Taking your partner for granted
Kate says: “Every year when Match compiles the Lovegeist report – the largest independent survey of the UK’s attitude towards love and dating – we find that small gestures of love are appreciated far more than huge, lavish affairs. Kind and thoughtful is the way to go. Often this just requires listening – if your partner has a big meeting at work coming up, text them that day to wish them luck. If they start skipping sugar in their tea, remember it and make them the perfect brew every time. If you feel you’re hopeless at this, use a diary or calendar to remind you!”

Source: http://uk.match.yahoo.net/edito/index.php?mtcmk=080405&name=5/119/1924-habits-that-hurt-your-relationship.html

Those who are familiar with dating websites, certainly know about Lavalife ® which is a top rated personals & online dating service, with thousands of hot, local online singles waiting to meet you NOW! Find a great date, love, a committed relationship or even something more, all at Lavalife. The website claims that it is trusted website for online dating but your comments can give us a flavour.

Lavalife branded personals is a trusted way to find that someone special. Since 1983 Lavalife has been a leader in connecting singlesthrough their exceptional personals service. Lavalife claims that it is a safe place for singles to test the waters or finally meet that special someone for a long-term relationship. Lavalife lets you go at your own pace. We like to think of ourselves as a valuable friend helping you along the way in your life journey.

Lavalife would like to introduce you to the thousands of singles who log in to Lavalife every day. Click the image to register for free and see who’s online now. Lavalife is open to anyone aged eighteen or older, all singles are invited to register to Lavalife and through our distinctive features such as email, chat, who’s viewed me, and our intuitive search and browse options, we are sure you will find singles online dating at Lavalife to be a very positive and rewarding experience!

Lavalife has three unique communities, dating, relationships, and intimate encounters. Each community has content, forums, polls, complete with searching and browsing functions, all unique to each community! Lavalife lets you see who’s online locally, with words, pictures, and video! Every community has hot, sexy singles waiting for your smile, Instant Message, or email. You are free to join all three communities, or pick and choose the community that is right for you.

Interested to know what free online dating means at Lavalife? Lavalife is free to join, free to search, free to reply, and free to flirtthrough our send a smile feature. The freedom is yours to choose at Lavalife. Their robust search engine allows you to filter your searches by region, city, height, age, languages spoken. You can customize and tailor your search to exactly how you need, and you can then save your searches for later! These are just some of the free online dating features you will find once you join one of the most popularpersonals site available today!

We know you have a choice, and we appreciate if you tell us your experience.

Parents often cringe when their teenage son or daughter says, “I want to go out on a date” for the first time. It marks a life transition, and it has many positive effects, because it’s a dress rehearsal for serious relationships and marriage. It teaches teens to interact with others in a more intimate way than occurs in simple friendships.
Communication
Teen dating provides a way to learn healthy communication skills with a partner. It often takes trial and error, but the Project Horizon violence prevention site explains that dating teens learn to resolve disagreements as they go through the ups and downs of a relationship. These skills are useful preparation for marriage.
Confidence
Dating increases a teenager’s overall self-confidence and standing with her peers. Teens feel good when they realize they are attractive to the opposite sex. Going out with a partner reinforces the positive feelings and sense of attractiveness. This can spill over into higher self-esteem and better performance in school and other activities.
Compromise
Dating teaches teenagers about compromise. A healthy relationship requires both parties to sometimes make a sacrifice. They must each give a little to meet the other person’s needs. This is learned hands-on through the dating process to maintain the relationship. It’s a valuable skill that can be used in adulthood in family and workplace situations.
Trust
Teen dating teaching youngsters the importance of trust and honesty. These two things are the basis of a healthy relationship. Children’s Hospital Boston explains there may be breaches of trust. This teaches the teen how to resolve problems or draw boundaries when necessary.
Fun
Dating is a social activity that gives teenagers an outlet to go to movies, dances and other enjoyable places and share the fun with a significant other. This is a good outlet that offsets some of the pressure of schoolwork and extracurricular activities.
Compatibility
Teenage dating is an opportunity for a young person to figure out what he is looking for in a partner. Teens learn which traits they find most attractive in others and the things that are annoying. This information is valuable in the eventual search for a marriage partner.
Rejection
Life is not perfect, and teens must learn to deal with rejection, because they will face many disappointments in adulthood. Many teen romances do not last long, and break-ups provide youngsters with experience in handling hurt and rejection. They learn to go through the grieving process and eventually move on.
Maturity
Teens are in the transition from child to adult. Dating helps them to feel independent and mature. It’s a step forward into “grown-up” behavior.

Read more: http://www.livestrong.com/article/154840-positive-effects-of-dating-for-teenagers/#ixzz1J1FGRWiF

How do you know if they love you so? It’s not in their kiss, says Match.com’s relationship expert Kate Taylor

1. Eyes
First of all, look deeply into their eyes. Notice if their pupils are dilated because if they are, they’re very attracted to you. Sexual desire – like fear – stimulates the sympathetic nervous system, one of the effects of which is wide, opened pupils. It can also relax the muscles around the eyes, giving them a softer “doe-eyed” appearance. Aww.
Then hold your partner’s gaze for four seconds or more – body-language research has shown that a long “eye meet” is only tolerated when a person feels affectionate towards a partner, otherwise it is perceived as an aggression action.

2. Hips
When people are with someone they are fiercely attracted to, they unconsciously shift position so their hips are facing towards them. A US study conducted by David Givens and Timothy Perper revealed that lovers practice “total body synchrony”. Eh? In short, “they pivot or swivel until their shoulders become aligned, their bodies face-to-face…” Hmm, maybe this explains why dancing partners keep falling for each other on Strictly. But it’s more than just facing your lover — couples in love often mirror each other’s actions, or move in tandem; specifically, they follow each other without question, or do not verbally acknowledge gestures between each other (for example, they could take a sip of your drink without asking, or you’d sit next to them without asking permission).

3. Hair
Does it look great? Great! Being in love stimulates people to improve their appearance so a new haircut can be a sign of attraction. Does it look messy? Better! Repeated grooming gestures are another body-language giveaway of attraction. Women will twirl, stroke and play with their hair in the presence of their dream man, as a subconscious, “Please God let me look OK,” message. Men, in contrast, will often raise a hand to flatten their hair around women they adore: not only is it grooming, but it also gives the impression of increased height.

4. Energy
“I could have danced all night,” isn’t an exaggeration – people in love DO have more energy than the uninfatuated. Anthropologist Dr Helen Fisher ran brain scans on people who confessed to being “madly in love” and found activity in the limbic system of the brain due to a molecule called phenylethylamine (PEA) which is released when we form an intense emotional bond. This action caused “feelings of elation, exhilaration, and euphoria,” says Fisher. This might explain why people in love never sleep either, preferring to spend all night Googling their beloved.

5. Trust
When we enter the “attachment” stage of love – the slightly calmer state we reach after the initial lust and infatuation have receded – increased levels of a hormone called Oxytocin cause us to trust our partner. Oxytocin (also known as the bonding hormone) is released during sexual contact and is responsible for boosting feelings of affection and togetherness, and its effect on trust let us do things like spend the night together and make love. Does your partner take your word for things, let you borrow their car and not triple-check where you go at night? Then they’re in deep, baby. Enjoy!

Source: http://uk.match.yahoo.net/edito/index.php?mtcmk=080405&name=5/118/1786-the-real-signs-they-re-in-love.html

It’s just a month until the Royal Wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton, and just a few months until June, when many Americans couples wed.
Many brides-to-be and grooms are working hard to lose extra weight and get in shape before they get married.
If you managed to slim down for your big day and would like to inspire those struggling to do the same, send us your before and after photos, and your wedding picture for a photo gallery.
By submitting your response and photograph, you are ensuring that the submission is an original image of you, and grant USA TODAY the rights to use the material in print, electronic and other media platforms, and you represent that you have all rights necessary to grant USA TODAY such rights.
We will send you a link to the gallery once it becomes available. Thanks again for your willingness to be a real voice in our coverage!

Source:http://yourlife.usatoday.com/

Mostly people enjoy the wedding ceremonies but style of each one is different one. If it is Royal, then what you expect.
“The couple may be keeping many details under wraps for now, but if it’s out there and it’s official, we’ll post it here to keep you in the know.
The couple
Prince William, second in line to the British throne, elder son of heir to the throne, Prince Charles and the late Diana, Princess of Wales, will marry Kate Middleton, daughter of Michael and Carole Middleton.
Inside William and Kate’s St Andrews
The couple met while studying at St Andrews University in Scotland. Prince William proposed in October 2010 in Kenya, with his mother’s diamond and sapphire engagement ring.
The ceremony will take place at 11 a.m. on April 29 2011 at Westminster Abbey in London, England. The ceremony will probably last around an hour.
Getting to the church
The bride-to-be will travel to Westminster Abbey by car, rather than horse-drawn carriage as Diana, Princess of Wales did on her wedding day 30 years ago.
Kate to ride to Abbey in Rolls Royce
It’s likely Kate will leave from one of the London palaces or possibly an exclusive London hotel, while Prince William will start off from Clarence House, Prince William’s official residence, though these details are yet to be confirmed by the Prince’s office.
The venue
Westminster Abbey is over 700 years old and holds 2,200 people. It’s been the site of coronations since William I’s in 1066.
Westminster Abbey: In-depth profile
Many royal weddings have taken place here, including current queen, Elizabeth II’s to Prince Philip in 1947. The Abbey is considered a more modest, but fittingly grand, alternative to the larger St Paul’s Cathedral.
Key players
The Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams, will marry the couple. The Dean of Westminster will conduct the service.
The Bishop of London, Richard Chartres, will give the address. He is a family friend of the Windsors and spoke at Diana, Princess of Wales’s memorial in 2007.
William has chosen his younger brother, Prince Harry, third in line to the throne, as best man. Kate’s sister Philippa, often known as Pippa, will be her maid of honor.
There will be four younger bridesmaids and two younger page boys, including two of William’s godchildren.
Who are the bridesmaids and page boys?
The music
Two choirs, one orchestra, a fanfare team and trumpeters will play at the wedding:
- The Choir of Westminster Abbey, formed of 20 boys and 12 professional singers. The Abbey’s sub-organist will play the organ.
- The Chapel Royal Choir, formed of 10 boys and six professional singers.
- The London Chamber Orchestra, the longest established professional chamber orchestra in the UK. Its 39 members will play from the organ loft in the Abbey.
- The Fanfare Team from the Central Band of the Royal Air Force, which consists of seven players and their conductor.
- The State Trumpeters of The Household Cavalry, eight trumpeters drawn from the Band of the Life Guards and the Band of the Blues and Royals.
The guests
Around 1,900 people have been invited to the main ceremony at Westminster Abbey, mainly made up of the couple’s friends and family.
The other guests will be members of foreign royal families, heads of state, members of the army, navy and air force and around 80 regular joes from the charities Prince William supports.
Six hundred people have been invited to a lunchtime reception at Buckingham Palace hosted by The Queen. Just three hundred people have been asked to an exclusive dinner in the evening thrown by Charles, Prince of Wales.
Wedding invitations stamped and sent
The Swedish royal family has confirmed. The Japanese royal family has pulled out due to the devastating events in Japan. The biggest snub so far is for Sarah Ferguson, ex-wife of Andrew, Duke of York, who has not been invited.
Royal procession
After the ceremony, the newlyweds will travel back to Buckingham Palace in a horse-drawn five-carriage procession, along a set route lined by fans and well-wishers. The route takes in some of London’s most historic places: Parliament Square, Whitehall, Horse Guards Parade and The Mall.
Full details on the carriages
William and Kate will likely use the 1902 State Landau, which Prince Charles and his first wife, the late Diana, Princess of Wales also used at their wedding. If it’s raining, the newlyweds will revert to the Glass Coach, which has a roof. The white-looking Windsor Greys, which are usually reserved for the Queen, will pull the newlyweds.
The reception
William’s grandmother, Queen Elizabeth, will host a reception at Buckingham Palace for the couple’s friends and family.
It’s traditional for the couple to make a public appearance on the balcony at Buckingham Palace before joining the reception. The whole world will be hoping for a romantic kiss from the newlyweds.
Later on, William’s father, Prince Charles, will host a dinner for close friends and family at Buckingham Palace.
Wedding gifts
The couple have asked that members of the public who would like to give them a gift instead donate to charity. They have set up a dedicated website where donations can be made. Charities from Canada, the UK and Australia will benefit and include Oily Cart, New Zealand Government Christchurch Earthquake Appeal and Earthwatch.
The honeymoon
Clarence House hasn’t yet disclosed where the couple will honeymoon.
Once back, they will live on Anglesey, Wales, where Prince William works as a Royal Air Force search and rescue helicopter pilot.
What’s next
The couple will go, on their first official trip, to Canada in June and visit Alberta, the Northwest Territories, Prince Edward Island, Quebec and the National Capital Region.

Source: www.cnn.com

Imagine being the guy who does not have to worry about dating women anymore. Women are all over you and your cell-phone never stops ringing. You have to verify your agenda because you barely have time for yourself with calendar. But this is just a dream to some men. Some men are just not capable of inspiring that desire into women. But why?

It’s because they are not doing the right approach to women. What’s the right approach? – you ask. Think about this situation…

Case 1:

There’s a beautiful lady in a flower store. The lady is perfect; nice body, cute face and a long well-treated hair. She is taking a close look at some flowers and smelling the nice natural perfume of flowers. A handsome man makes his approach to her… walks by close to her but doesn’t say a word. Just a deep look into her eyes. But she didn’t care; she’s there to buy some flowers.

Case 2:

The same scene as before… This time another handsome man approaches. This man is brave enough and he talks to her. He introduces himself, asks for her name, stares at her studying her beautiful body, talks about her cute smile… now he tells her she’s got a nice blouse and it’s perfectly tight to her body. The woman feels uncomfortable with all these comments that she thinks are inappropriate the very first day they met. So now, she avoids the man and skips out of the conversation.

Did they make the right approach? You bet they did not!

Now case 3:

Same scene… but this time a not-so-good-looking guy approaches to the woman. The problem is you are some distance apart and couldn’t listen to their conversation. But by the looks of it, they are both having a good conversation; they are both smiling, while talking, they are pointing to the flowers and she seems interested in what the guy is talking. He takes a paper out of his pocket and writes down something (could be her number or address). Now, he takes off the flower store…So, it seems that the not-so-good-looking guy succeeded after all, huh! Two handsome men approached but didn’t have anything to start off with. But this guy wrote down something that may lead to a future date, or more. Do you identify yourself with the first 2 guys? Then you definitely need to work with your approach to women. You may contact a professional or look over the web to find a good guide that may help with your needs at this matter.

Source:http://www.associatedcontent.com

There is a dreadful sickness in the minds of some which impels them to commit acts of appalling violence. The killing of a young woman in Karachi on Tuesday is but one of the more appalling stories that appear almost daily – stories which tell of usually young women who marry for love and are then killed by parents or relatives. The ‘crime’ they are said to have committed is to have married against the wishes of the family, to have made a love marriage. Thus it was for Husun Bibi, mother of a six-month old baby, who is said to have her origins in the Swat valley. She and her husband had come to Karachi presumably in the knowledge that her family was opposed to their union. Her own mother, father and an uncle axed her to death and severely wounded her husband. The killers fled the scene and are probably feeling proud of themselves now that they have redeemed their lost ‘honour’.

It is impossible to know how many men and women are killed every year in the misguided belief that they have besmirched the honour of their family. Honour killing is not confined exclusively to Pakistan or the sub-continent, but it is particularly prevalent here and we do little or nothing in terms of creating an alternative narrative that would turn minds away from this deadly perversion from an early age. Our law enforcement agencies often turn a blind eye to honour killings claiming them to be ‘family business’ and therefore not their business. But murder is murder under the law and those who kill in the name of honour should be prosecuted as other murderers are. ‘Culture’ is no defence, and a ‘culture’ that permits and lends legitimacy to such killings, needs to change.

Source: www.thenews.com.pk dated March 21, 2011

Don’t worry about the calories in those Valentine’s Day chocolates – a proper celebration in the bedroom can help keep you in shape.
In fact, sex can benefit your health in many ways. Here are seven reasons to give and get a little love – not just this special day, but any time.

Good for the heart
Sex is good for your heart. Like any physical exertion, sex is a form of cardio-exercise, which gets your heart pumping faster and helps it stay in shape. What’s more, studies have shown that men who have sex two or more times per week cut their risk of a fatal heart attack by half.

Helps you lose weight
Like any form of exercise, sex helps you lose weight. Having sex for 30 minutes can burn off 85 calories. To put that in perspective: 15 minutes on the treadmill could burn up to 200 calories; 42 of these half-hour sessions, then, could shave a pound off your weight.

Boosts your immune system
While it’s possible to contract a wide range of diseases, both from sex and from simple contact with others, safe sex between healthy partners can make you better equipped to fight illness.
Those who have sex once or twice a week have been shown to have higher levels of immunoglobulin A or IgA, an antibody which helps protect you from respiratory diseases like the cold and flu.
Don’t go overboard, though – in studies, those who had sex three or more times a week had the lowest levels of antibodies.

Reduces the risk of prostate cancer
For younger men, sex reduces the risk of prostate cancer. Researchers have found that men in their 20s who had five or more ejaculations per week were one third less likely to develop the cancer in later life. Although they found no such correlation for older men, you could try to prove them wrong.

Relieves stress
There’s a medical explanation for the mood boost sex gives you. The brain releases endorphins during and after sex, and these neurotransmitters create a feeling of euphoria while masking the negative effects of stress.
Researchers have also found that sex lowers your blood pressure, which is good for your health and allows you to better keep your cool in stressful situations.

It relieves pain
Endorphins and lower blood pressure also mean that sex relieves pain. Endorphins are released during sex because of the heightened levels of the hormone oxytocin in your body. This has been known to alleviate arthritic and menstrual pain, among other things. Lower blood pressure can also help relieve migraines.

It helps you sleep
In addition to relieving stress and pain, the oxytocin generated during sex helps you sleep better. Sex relaxes you, promoting deeper, more restful sleep. What more do you need?

Source: http://uk.health.lifestyle.yahoo.net/is-sex-good-for-your-health.htm

Mr. Irshad Mahmood – have emailed me some golden rules of Islamic marriage:
1> Many customs as regards to engagement are contrary to the Sunnah. In fact, many are against the Shariah and are regarded as sins. A verbal proposal and answer is sufficient.
2> To unnecessarily delay Nikah of both the boy and the girl after having reached the age of marriage is incorrect.
3> There is nothing wrong in inviting one’s close associates for the occasion of Nikah. However, no special pains should be taken in gathering the people from far off places.
4> It is appropriate that the bridegroom be a few years older than the bride.
5> If the father of the girl is an Aalim or pious and capable of performing Nikah, then he should himself solemnise the marriage.
6> It is better to give the Mahr at the time of Nikah. It should not be too low nor it should be too high.
7> It is totally un-Islaamic for those, who do not possess the means, to incur debts in order to have grandiose weddings.
8> It is fallacy to think that one’s respect will be lost if one does not hold an extravagant wedding and invite many people. What is our respect compared to that of Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam)?
9> The present day practice of the intermingling of sexes is an act of sin and totally against Shariah.
10> There is nothing such as engagement parties and Medhi parties etc. in Islaam.
11> Great care must be taken as regards to Salaat on occasions of marriage by all – the bride, the bridegroom and all the participants.
12> It is un-Islaamic to display the bride on stage.
13> The unnecessary expenses incurred by the bride’s family in holding a feast has no basis in Shariah.
14> For the engaged couple to meet at a public gathering where the boy holds the girl’s hand and slips a ring on her finger is a violation of the Quraanic law of Hijaab.
15> It is un-Islaamic for the engaged couple to meet each other and also go out together.
16> Three things should be borne in mind when giving one’s daughter gifts and presents at the time of Nikah:
Presents should be given within one’s means (it is not permissible to take loans, on interest for such
presents);
To give necessary items;
A show should not be made of whatever is given.
17> It is Sunnat for the bridegroom’s family to make Walimah.

Note: In Walimah, whatever is easily available should be fed to the people and care should be taken that there is no extravagance, show and that no debts are incurred in the process.
18> To delay Nikah after the engagement for a long period is un-Islaamic.

Nowadays, the search for equality between men and women has gradually turned into a frantic search for similarities. And yet we shall never be identical, for since the dawn of time, basic differences have separated us… especially when it comes to love!

Although men and women are equal, they are not identical…when it comes to love. This is because they behave differently and have different expectations. Here, experts explain what our differences are, so that we can understand each other better and find happiness together!
It’s down to women to do the attracting

Love according to the sexes. It’s the woman who initiates the relationship. As for the male, he is responsible for the second stage: the approach. The biologist Timothy Perper has noticed this remarkable division of roles: “In 70% of cases, the female is the central figure in the first stage, through the signals she sends out, a higher-pitched or more silvery voice, a coaxing smile…”

There’s nothing surprising in that: biologically speaking, she is the one responsible for perpetuating the species. So of course she makes a lot of effort. This acknowledgement has shattered the commonly held belief that it is up to the man to make the first move!
Time is relative… to gender!

We’ve only just said goodbye to him and already we’re taken by surprise when we hear the phone ring. We don’t perceive time in the same way. According to Jean-Didier Vincent, it’s our brains that make us different. The right cortex in women’s brains is more effective. As a result, there is a bit more “stopwatch timing”, more of a notion of the length of time. Men, however, divide time up into sections.

To sum up, she feels time passing, whereas he counts it. This fact also plays a part in memory. She stockpiles old memories, he cultivates instant memories.
We are speaking a different language

It’s a well-known fact: emotional language is to do with gender. This hypothesis is being developed by the psychiatrist Alain Braconnier: “Girls are more ahead of boys in their acquisition and use of language, so they are used to naming and describing their emotions from an earlier age.”

As an indirect consequence, when they have their first row, she tries talking about it, he acts the innocent. Of course, he agrees but he would rather resort to practical solutions without getting emotional, such as a candle-lit dinner, a holiday in Costa Rica, a night of passion… Besides, expressing his feelings “does his head in”. For the most part, these men are loathe to look inside their own minds. Calling things into question or psychoanalysis, recognising possible shortcomings in themselves… it’s really not their cup of tea!
Love and dependency

“Women identify their happiness with the degree of attachment their boyfriend shows them,” explains psychoanalyst Michel Hoky. Unfortunately, as soon as men see their partner every day, or almost every day, they quickly start to feel precisely that – “attached”. They feel their identity is being threatened. So when they have “footie nights with the lads” or “work flat out during the night” at the office, they are only acting on a deep instinct: shaking themselves free.

According to the psychologist Nathalie Bittman, the explanation lies in childhood: “At the age of 2, a little girl feels that happiness comes from identifying with and becoming attached to a loved one, the mother. But a little boy has to free himself from her to be like his dad.” Therefore, when he becomes a man, he always veers between wanting attachment and autonomy. This is where this desire for independence comes from, which seems to be a characteristic of these men.

Source: http://wellbeing.doctissimo.com/couples/couples-user-manual/love-difference-rules.html